Saturday 29 September 2012

Have You Ever Had A Yo-Yo? Or Boomerang? Read on...




Accompanied by "You Keep Me Hanging On" by Kim Wilde (cover) and Maroon 5's "One More Night" - thought this song was kind of perfect when I actually listened to the lyrics!

YOOOO-YO (hardy harr).

How is everyone doin'?? Two blogs in a week! How exciting!!!

So kids...I've decided to chat to you about yo-yo's (and/or boomerangs) today. Now...these yo-yos are not the old school wooden kind, or the plastic ones that sparkle and shine with colourful blinking lights when you set them free. Those are the fun kind of yo-yos; the innocent kinds of yo-yos that bring you back to when you were a carefree child. No folks...I am not talking about those. What I'm talking about are human yo-yos or boomerangs. The type of human being that you set free for good but end up coming back into your life over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. The ones that create constant heartache, and stress, and uncertainty in your life. Or more specifically, the ones that you ALLOW to create those types of feelings and scenarios in your life, because really it's our own responsibility to not let these people return into our lives to create the chaos in the first place. When these yo-yo’s enter your life they bring you on the roller coaster ride of your lifetime...kind of like the Mind Buster at Canada's Wonderland...where your head and body bounce around giving you the biggest headache at the end of it all. I'm sure some of you reading this can relate and can vouch for how unpleasant these types of relationships can be. I unfortunately have been involved in a few boomerang "relationships/friendships" throughout my short time here on earth. Stupidly, while in the midst of one of these relationships, I held out for the slim chance of something real coming out of it because gosh darn it they threw a crumb of attention my way (enough to keep me connected). However, with that said, I generally tried to fool myself and everyone around me by saying that I wasn't holding out for anything with these guys, that I'm just having fun, while simultaneously sabotaging potential chances with the people who actually gave a shit. It's not that I do not want a real companion either. I truly do want one, however the challenge, excitement and drama related to the situation have been subconsciously more attractive then actually attaining the prize at the end. That small amount of attention you suddenly get feels like a victory and is a natural high. They have chosen you, or there is a potential to be chosen. Thennnnnn they disappear and the victory is lost *tear*.

"OOOOH...you're not really into wanting to date me right now? Ok. Well let me try and change your mind. Here...here's all my time. My money. My car. My emotions...my year. Take it."

I decided to write this blog because throughout this past year especially, I have met so many other women and men going through similar situations and started to wonder - WHY ARE WE DOING THIS TO OURSELVES??! We are all strong, smart, capable, independent girls/guys with a lot to offer someone. Why are we falling privy to these people who have nothing to give back to us? Who only think of themselves? Having an emotionally unavailable/yo-yo companion is hard because you end up blaming yourself in the end when things go awry. You ask yourself questions like, what am I doing wrong? What is wrong with me that they can't commit to me and or cannot stick around? What is so great about the 500 other girls he has on the side most likely? You stew and wonder and analyze and then let go of the situation only to get caught up in it 2, 5, 6, 9 months later when they make contact with you again. Once again you feel they finally realize the person you are and you try your best not to be available to this person's needs or requests because as soon as you do the game is over. How ridiculous, RIGHT?!??! If you show any sort of emotion, they think they've won and the attention is lost. It's a vicious, VICIOUS cycle; a cycle that has you looking deep into yourself to see why you accept this in your life. Is it a lack of self-worth? Is it that you're emotionally unavailable yourself? Commitment phobic? What is stopping us from wanting something stable? Something secure? Something more "normal" that won't leave our hearts aching? I have concluded that we are gluttons for punishment and it is a journey and pattern that I know needs to stop for myself.  It's not that I am searching for these kinds of people or relationships. I just attract someone and or are attracted to guys who mirror the energy I'm putting out there at the moment. SO the hard part now is breaking the cycle; breaking from the addiction to the stimulation, the temptation, the challenge, and pain that comes along with the constant yo-yoing. Shifting our own thoughts and energy will help attract what we’ve always hoped for. It really does start with us. Perhaps I've never been clear in what I want as that would actually bring about what I want and I haven't been ready for it. I am ready now - well getting there :) I am ready to receive love and I am also ready to give it back wholeheartedly to people who appreciate it. 

I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend! A beautiful day it is :)

Love,
Lovely Lianne XO

3 comments:

  1. self-indulgent, self-satisfying, and grade 6 level writing, as usual...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Where is a "like" button, pls?
    Lucka

    ReplyDelete