Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Have You Ever Loved Unconditionally?


Accompanied by "All You Need Is Love" by The Beatles and "Everybody" by Ingrid Michaelson (great lyrics).

I haven't written a blog in a while so here it is! I'm writing about unconditional love this week because I've experienced a series of events these past few days that have produced immense anger inside. I don't like conflict AT ALL and do not like feeling this way, so I thought I'd write about love (more specifically unconditional love) to perhaps help get me out of this funk. 

As I walked my dog stewing over the issues I've been dealing with this week, I thought about how I could possibly muster up the strength to love unconditionally in the situation I am in. How can I possibly have my ego and my pride move to the side so I can send out love to this person that I'm allowing to wreak havoc in my life? How in the world did Mother Theresa do this?? How does the Dalai Lama do it? Why is it so hard much harder to love unconditionally than to continue being angry?? When I mention loving unconditionally I don't mean the romantic lovey dovey love, where hormones and lust are ruling us. What I am meaning is the kind of love that is pure, and comes straight from our hearts. This kind of love lacks judgment, and is fully and utterly complete. It is the type of love that is infinite, and not based on certain terms. Most of us probably feel that we ARE loving unconditionally, especially towards our family, friends, partners, etc., but are we? Are you letting those people be who they are without judgment? Or be who they are without expectations or demands? Are you letting them be free?? It is SO easy to judge someone based on your own perceptions of what is good or bad, and not accept someone for who they truly are. It is seemingly harder to love someone for everything that they are. In relationships of any kind, it is common to nag someone to death in order to get them to do things your way, or to try and have them live up to your standards or fit within the life YOU want. That is loving conditionally. It is the same as giving a gift with the expectation of getting something in return. How is that giving when there are strings attached?

"Hey if I give you this foot massage, can you give me three back massages because that's only fair?"

   SO how can we change this way of being so that we are all living in our hearts? It is a difficult task for sure as we live in a world full of negative media, consumerism, materialism, gossip pages, plastic surgery, greed, poverty, and so on and so on. It takes major discipline to detach yourself from all of the worlds madness and live in your heart centre. It takes major discipline to live in a more observational state of being rather than emotional state of being. By observing the world rather than reacting to the world we are able to see things clearer instead of basing our perceptions on our own emotional experiences. It takes awareness of our thoughts and our emotions to truly be able to love unconditionally. Emotions are a tricky thing and are easy to get wrapped up in. This is not saying that feeling emotion is a bad thing as it is what makes us human and alive, but learning to acknowledge the emotion, let go of it, and transmute it all into love is what is necessary. We are all put on earth to fulfill our own journeys (as I've mentioned before) and have our own personalities, and because someone doesn't fit within the mold you want for your own life, that does not make them bad or wrong. These differences need to be celebrated and loved as its what makes the world so exciting. The only way we will see the world change is by starting to love. Anger is great to kick start change, but love can kick start change as well. True love changes frequencies around us and within us, and is a universal language that can break the boundaries and limitations we are creating.  It makes us feel alive! It also is better for your health :) Think of the anxiety and physical pain negative emotions create in your life.

Additionally, when thinking about unconditional love, I can't help but think about
the kind of love that's felt from our beloved pets who greet us at the door each day (or perhaps each minute) with this excitement and joy. Or that sit at our feet staring adoringly at us despite anything we may have done in our life that was deemed "wrong".  It has been said over and over again how pets are a true testament of unconditional love and this I feel is true. My dog is a little bit crazy but she is definitely a learning lesson for me in learning to love unconditionally and be accepting of others differences.  I was once walking her apologizing profusely for her psycho behaviour and this woman came up to me saying "you don't have to be sorry for who she is." She is who she is. Despite the fact that she is a little bit dangerous, the lesson did ring true and it made me really think. If we were being loved unconditionally we wouldn't have to feel the need to defend who we are to people. And if we were loving unconditionally we wouldn't be producing the need for someone else to defend themselves. 

Anywho...just some food for thought tonight. I have found some quotes that followed along the same lines as what I've said in this blog. I hope everyone has a fabulous evening and rest of the week. This definitely helped me clear some of my own thoughts.

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them." ~ Thomas Merton

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get–only with what you are expecting to give–which is everything."
~ Katherine Hepburn
"Love is, above all, the gift of oneself." ~ Jean Anouilh

"Love, true love, is that which can give the most without asking or demanding anything in return."
~ Mazie Hammond
"Love… What is love? Love is to love someone for who they are, who they were, and who they will be." ~ Chris Moore
"Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration of another’s personhood." ~ Karen Casey


  1. This is excellent Lianne. Love, love, love this one. Has me thinking. Need to read this one again in a few days to have it sink in, or to remind me of what love is and should be. Great work. Keep up the writing and don't wait so long next time. Hope your week turns around, and know that you are loved, even on the days it doesn't feel that way. You are amazing, and I will love better because of this blog. Thank-you!!!!!

  2. Great post - as always Lianne! Keep-up the writing and the inspirational words to live by :)

  3. Thank you!! Thank you both for the constant support. It means so much to me. Both amazing ladies and love you both! xo

  4. Yes, because I love you unconditionally!