Sunday 15 January 2012

Have You Ever - New Year...New Adventures :)


Accompanied by "Going Going Gone" by Bob Dylan.


Looking back on 2011 I can say that it was certainly a year of ups and downs. It was a year of challenges, a few heartaches, many road trips and travels, and many accomplishments. I proved to myself that I could face some of my fears and work hard towards fulfilling some of my goals in life. I wanted to really work towards freeing myself FROM myself really. Free myself from my crazy worries, anxiety about being somewhere in life, and just start enjoying the moment and what it has to offer. I traveled to Arizona on my own in April, which was something I've wanted to do for years. I proved to myself that when I put my mind to something it could be manifested. I've always wanted to go to Sedona to do a retreat of some sort and to just get away and learn some things about myself. There is crazy energy around that area and many healers and creative types reside within the town. It was during this trip that I set the goal to start writing more seriously. My mentor in Arizona planted the seed and when I arrived back home I started this blog. Initially I was very hesitant to show this side of myself as there are few people that knew my passion for writing (except for my closest friends). It was my goal to write about things that were more motivational and honest in hopes that people could perhaps relate to the posts and feel better that they weren't alone in thinking the way they thought or feel ashamed of situations they faced in life. The response has been really positive and hopefully this year there will be a lot more to write about. Through the positive feedback I received, I gained the confidence to start writing for an online events magazine called www.canadianspecialevents.com, which allowed me to attend some pretty fun events this summer. I went to many festivals, corporate fundraisers and even a wedding and got the chance to interview musicians, television personalities, and attend the MMVA's!!!! Craziness.

My goals and dreams for this year involve becoming more vulnerable in life - regarding love, life, and people in general. I need to be more direct and honest with how I feel. I also need to face head on the fear that stops me from doing the many things I love and have always wanted to do. Although I am a big extrovert in most situations, I have a pretty shy and timid side. I'm petrified of speaking in public and exposing the more serious, vulnerable side of myself, and of having my voice heard. I'm a sensitive person and have a very serious, reflective side to me. This side of me is rarely exposed unless I know people really well. I have a very bubbly exterior which I've realized has been my shell to protect me from exposing this more sensitive side of myself. This is not to say this side of me isn't real, I just need to become more comfortable with the other sides of me as well.

Beyond those initial goals, I also want to be of more service to others this year and from now on. Living a fulfilling life involves being of service and thinking not only of yourself. It helps your heart and your well-being and makes you feel like you have a purpose and that you are connected to the world. I've always had a passion for helping people and know this is part of my life purpose, but have not done it enough in my opinion. I've spent many of my recent years working on getting myself in order and I feel it's time to look beyond myself. I once spent time volunteering for the Special Olympics and it was rewarding to see the resilience and the sheer happiness the kids and adults displayed each time I saw them. As Martin Luther King has said, "What are you doing for others?"

I feel really great about this year...like a new, big journey is about to ensue.  I have done a lot of work to get myself in the right frame of mind, and am starting really enjoy being me. I wish everyone a successful and happy 2012!!! And that everyone is able to fulfill their dreams!!!!

Dylan's lyrics:

I've just reached a place
Where the willow don't bend
There's not much more to be said
It's the top of the end
I am going
I am going
I am gone.


I am closing the book
On the pages and the text
And I don't really care
Of what happens next
I am just going
I am going
I am gone.


I been hanging on threads
I been playing it straight
Now I've just got to cut loose
Before it gets late
So I am going
I am going
I am gone.


Grandma said, "Boy, go and follow your heart
And you'll be fine at the end of the line
All that's gold doesn't shine
Don't you and your own true love ever part"


I been walking the road
I been living on the edge
Now I've just got to go
Before I get to the ledge
So I am going
I am just going
I am gone.

Love,
Lovely Lianne XO