Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Have You Ever Been a Late Bloomer?

Accompanied by "Late Bloomer" by Ron Sexsmith.
Hello All,

I was thinking a lot about the evolution of my life as of late and I have to say it has been a pretty slow evolution gosh darnit!! Has anyone ever felt like they've been steps behind everyone during their life? A "late bloomer" as they say? When looking at all the milestones one experiences in their lifetime, all mine seemed to have lagged behind everyone else's. As I've mentioned before there are so many people who have it all figured out and at an early age. They have developed their talents, successes, and overall life plan in a short period of time and it's mind boggling! It baffles me that some people can develop so quickly while others take years to develop and mold their lives into the lives they've dreamed of.  Let's look at the Wikipedia definition of a late bloomer:

A late bloomer is a person whose talents and capabilities are not visible to others until later than usual. The term is used metaphorically to describe a child or adolescent who develops more slowly than others in their age group, but eventually catches up and in some cases overtakes their peers. Or an adults whose talent or genius in a particular field only appears later in life than is normal - in some cases only in old age.
YEP!!! I feel this is definitely something I'm experiencing and not just regarding the finding my talents and being a genius part ;). I've been a late bloomer in most areas of my life. I will paint you a picture of what my life thus far has been like:

During my younger years I was always the awkward girl (and kind of still am). I was taller than all the boys, had big feet compared to all the other girls in my class, had two different sized front teeth, and didn't seem to attract the attention of the boys I liked (I mean who can blame them with that description!). Everyone was getting grade school boyfriends, going to cool parties, and being overall cooler than me. The one cool party I was invited to I ended up going upstairs to hang out with the girls mom and younger sister because I didn't feel comfortable with the people at the party. I felt I was always on the outside trying to fit in and that God hated me when he gave me boobs before everyone else. I tried to cover up my little anthills with baggy shirts from Northern Reflections (a peach one with light blue writing to be more specific). Of course it was cool back then to wear those t-shirts. Maybe. Probably not. My boobs and my lovely womanly "present" were the only things I seemed to get BEFORE anyone else.  Seriously God? Why?? Although I have to say...some girls were kind of jealous that I was getting my "present" before them for some unknown reason. Why would anyone be jealous of bleeding?? I didn't get it!  I cried when mine came because I was 11 and I didn't want to deal with it. I laid on the couch feeling sorry for myself and cried uncontrollably in my mothers arms.Yep. Cool.
   Anywho...I started going to public school in Grade 7 which was new for my sister and I as we went to a Catholic school before that.  We were new to the neighbourhood, city, and the school and I only knew two people on the first day - my neighbour AND new friend Lucinda, and my twin sister. We moved around a lot so the first day of school was never a comfortable transition for me. The morning of this particular first day of school, my mother told us to look out for needles full of drugs. No joke. WTF Mom. I honestly thought I'd show up at school and would have to look out for people with needles getting ready to jab me.  Looking back at that story, and hearing other people's life stories about growing up, my life seemed a tad bit sheltered and rather behind.

I never drank in grade school or smoked pot or did drugs - which apparently was the thing to do then. Who knew. I wouldn't have even known where to get any of that shit. All that time I was happily playing badminton outside while people were doing that stuff. Late bloomer.

I was asked out once in Grade Seven and never had a boyfriend throughout highschool, unless you count the boy next door, but we were never "official". Late bloomer. 

My sense of style was horrendous (cartoon animal printed sweatshirts - enough said). People were developing styles and following trends...I honestly can't tell you what I was following. Probably what my Mom told me looked good. Late bloomer. 

I did not have my first real make out session until I was 16 (which was at a party with some guy I met that night). Late bloomer.

My first alcohol experience was when I was 17 and that just didn't go well. At all. I was more into sports and liking boys than drinking. Late bloomer.

My first kind of "date" was for my highschool senior prom. Sad. Late bloomer.

I smoked pot for the first time when I was 20 years old at university. Very late bloomer *sigh*.

Sex...well that was also late - but that was a personal choice as I wanted to be in a serious relationship - and the age I will not disclose but it was later than most (if not all) of my friends. Super late bloomer.

I suppose not doing drugs and drinking when I was 13 isn't the worst thing that could have happened to me,  but for years I felt like it was a picture of a total loser. When I was being diagnosed with ADHD at 18 I talked to my psychologist about my concerns regarding how my life was evolving at that point. She started talking about her oldest son and his own experiences and told me how things started later in life for him. She said "Lianne you are just a late bloomer." I looked at her and thought about this term and instantly felt better. It gave me hope that something will happen with my life damnit - whenever that was. Throughout university I often wondered when things would start happening for me in terms of love, career, marriage, kids, and in terms of being more cool in general.  I mean I was sort of cooler in university but still felt like that awkward kid at the cool party. Some people's lives just develop a little slower and they need more time to grow into themselves energetically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Their lives start to "come together" and unfold later in life which is what I am experiencing. This year I turn 34 and things are beginning to unfold and it is very exciting. Although I'm still not fully settled in my career path, nor am I anywhere close to being married or having kids, I feel like I'm coming into my own finally. I'm starting to develop and utilize the talents I pushed aside for years and am starting to appreciate my body and spirit. The trials and tribulations and teen angst has helped me become a more humble and modest person and way less judgmental. By being a late bloomer I've been able to observe others more closely to see what I do and don't want in my life. It has also made me realize that patience is something I need to develop more of. I really don't want to be locked in a set plan right now. Obviously if a more permanent plan presents itself to me and it's a great opportunity I will consider it then, but I'd rather embrace life's surprises in the meantime and continue seeing where life takes me. I have to accept that I'm a turtle - slow and steady can still experience triumph and success all while going at their own pace. My challenge at this point (being a restless spirit) is controlling the "hare" in me a bit better ;)

SO HERE'S TO ALL THE LATE BLOOMERS!!!! And congrats to all the other people who have found happiness in life :)

Lovely Lianne :) XO

Another reference as well to check out:


  1. Hey L:

    This reads so honestly.... I can relate in many ways- definitely have had my 'late-bloomer' moments! Feeling like you are finally finding your feet, standing with confidence, and being willing and ready to embrace the unknown is a great place to be! Can't wait to follow along with you on your journey! - T

    1. Hello Lady!! Thanks so much :) I'm happy you were able to relate to some of this blog. Love your energy by the way! And enjoy following your tweets! We shall unite soon damnit! :)

  2. Another great blog! Late Bloomers unite!! hahah, you KNOW I can totally relate :)....or is it :( ? Im not sure on that one...

  3. *I'd like to preface my response with this disclaimer: Although I may seem to be going against what you're saying or even criticizing it I do so for the purpose of intellectual stimulation, variety of thought and promotion of diversity in ideology; yours mine and anyone else's*

    I believe there is a key element missing from the observations you've made. Mainly that, in my opinion, often a late bloomer is typified by self-doubt. No one is really born a late bloomer anymore than they are born a soon bloomer. Physiological disadvantages aside - unusually low IQ, chromosome deficiencies, physical challenges, latent brain development etc. - we all have relatively equal potential at least in a broad abstract sense. Of course thanks to the diversity of human development we may very well be specialized towards a given field but despite this we still have incredibly diverse potential. All humans have enormous and vast potential from the moment of birth. Some people, for a plethora of personal experiential reasons, end up in a constant state of self-depreciation that is often superficially undetectable. They create inaccurate, self-imposed and eventually hard-wired portraits that work against possible means of self-discovery and personal success advancement. Statements like "I'm awkward" and "I was never that cool" or "I had a hard time fitting in" and even "I must be a late bloomer" are reinforcing the idea that there is something "right" with those I observe and something "wrong" with me. Certainly some of us just don't feel as comfortable in our own skin as others but that is no more determinate than being addicted to drugs or alcohol. What's interesting is that many people never clue in to this and are forever unsure of their own obvious ability, unable to fully produce and believe in something, anything that amounts to a personal artisanal product and experience. As a solution I’m essentially describing/implying the age-old concepts of mind over matter, projection, visualization and positive arrogance. I've also been called a "late bloomer" and I think that while socially I am at times on some higher level of interaction my own fear of success and rejection is counter-intuitive in my contributing something tangible to my life. Not always but it happens. NOT a late bloomer but a personal failure of sorts. I've lately decided, to bluntly say, "Fuck it. I am good. The best. I can do whatever I want and IT will be the best. I believe what I'm saying and it will happen. I am even as I write this making it happen and making a difference." and various other mantras that amount to the same message. Being a late bloomer is not a good thing. But it is not something anyone is fated to - mostly because fate in itself is a quite ludicrous concept - as the foundation of life as we know it physically, psychologically, earthly and cosmically, is evolution or the ability, in fact the necessity to change and adapt. If you want to bloom then decide that you are and you in turn will be.

  4. Hello G....thank you for this message! I appreciate your feedback and your stance on this topic as I agree about a lot of what you said. I want to read it again though and think about a proper response. I also love the disclaimer ;)

  5. Hey G,

    A response to your lengthy comment :) What I'm reading here from you is the law of attraction really. That if we think we can be something we will be (and I do agree that people can stop their advancement by the way they think - that needs to be worked on). This for sure is true, however I believe that as much as we try to force things to happen when WE want it to happen, it doesn't always happen during the time we want. We then live lives of frustration and self-doubt because our ego is getting in the way of the flow of life. We can put out all the positive thoughts we want and envision a life of riches and happiness and success, but that doesn't mean it will happen right then. Unlike you...I believe fate and destiny is alive (and not a ludicrous concept) and I believe that everything happens in its own time. This doesn't mean don't take action in life and that there's no personal choice in life, but in my own experience being aware of when it feels right to take action is how I've been less frustrated. Anytime I've tried to force life due to my ego telling me to do something, I've become frustrated and it felt unnatural to move forward at that point. My post was merely trying to state that some people evolve a little later in life than others. The right opportunities, maturity, the right mates, self-awareness all come a little later because maybe that's when we are able to handle it best. Gifts evolve later. The examples I chose from my own life may have not properly portrayed a late bloomer and I can see why you wrote what you wrote. It does sound self-depreciating. Doing drugs and alcohol later really doesn't paint a picture of a late bloomer, I was just trying to show through examples how I did everything kind of late. Personally I don't see being a late bloomer as a negative. When you said "being a later bloomer is not a good thing", I don't believe that. It is what it is. It doesn't mean we are stupid. Or slow. Personally watching people evolve quicker has brought doubts on myself as I feel like there really was something wrong with me. However I have started to realize over time that this isn't so. We just are different paths, and some people find certain things out sooner than others. Patience in life is needed on my part. My fear of rejection and success is also present and that as well needs to be worked on. Get my head out of the way.

    Anyways...I feel I am rambling and I may not have responded to everything you said here or interpreted it correctly. I really appreciate your response though. Made me think for sure and see a different side of this subject.


    1. I think there is an array of reasons as to why a person would be considered a late bloomer, such as: the individual simply doesn't know what he/she wants in life, how to go about attaining it if he/she does, doesn't realize what their potential is, has an irrational fear or anxiety preventing accomplishment (i.e. afraid of change), childhood trauma, not genetically predisposed to early development, sheltered upbringing, etc. What I'm trying to say is that each person will have their own combination of reasons and it could be simple or complex arrangement. What's important is that each person blooms at their own rate. At any rate, the awkward girls are usually the cooler ones.

    2. I love this :) Thanks!!! I totally agree with this as well. I experience a lot of that! And yes awkward girls are totally cooler ;) :P thank you for posting.