Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Have You Ever Been a Late Bloomer?

Accompanied by "Late Bloomer" by Ron Sexsmith.
Hello All,

I was thinking a lot about the evolution of my life as of late and I have to say it has been a pretty slow evolution gosh darnit!! Has anyone ever felt like they've been steps behind everyone during their life? A "late bloomer" as they say? When looking at all the milestones one experiences in their lifetime, all mine seemed to have lagged behind everyone else's. As I've mentioned before there are so many people who have it all figured out and at an early age. They have developed their talents, successes, and overall life plan in a short period of time and it's mind boggling! It baffles me that some people can develop so quickly while others take years to develop and mold their lives into the lives they've dreamed of.  Let's look at the Wikipedia definition of a late bloomer:

A late bloomer is a person whose talents and capabilities are not visible to others until later than usual. The term is used metaphorically to describe a child or adolescent who develops more slowly than others in their age group, but eventually catches up and in some cases overtakes their peers. Or an adults whose talent or genius in a particular field only appears later in life than is normal - in some cases only in old age.
YEP!!! I feel this is definitely something I'm experiencing and not just regarding the finding my talents and being a genius part ;). I've been a late bloomer in most areas of my life. I will paint you a picture of what my life thus far has been like:

During my younger years I was always the awkward girl (and kind of still am). I was taller than all the boys, had big feet compared to all the other girls in my class, had two different sized front teeth, and didn't seem to attract the attention of the boys I liked (I mean who can blame them with that description!). Everyone was getting grade school boyfriends, going to cool parties, and being overall cooler than me. The one cool party I was invited to I ended up going upstairs to hang out with the girls mom and younger sister because I didn't feel comfortable with the people at the party. I felt I was always on the outside trying to fit in and that God hated me when he gave me boobs before everyone else. I tried to cover up my little anthills with baggy shirts from Northern Reflections (a peach one with light blue writing to be more specific). Of course it was cool back then to wear those t-shirts. Maybe. Probably not. My boobs and my lovely womanly "present" were the only things I seemed to get BEFORE anyone else.  Seriously God? Why?? Although I have to say...some girls were kind of jealous that I was getting my "present" before them for some unknown reason. Why would anyone be jealous of bleeding?? I didn't get it!  I cried when mine came because I was 11 and I didn't want to deal with it. I laid on the couch feeling sorry for myself and cried uncontrollably in my mothers arms.Yep. Cool.
   Anywho...I started going to public school in Grade 7 which was new for my sister and I as we went to a Catholic school before that.  We were new to the neighbourhood, city, and the school and I only knew two people on the first day - my neighbour AND new friend Lucinda, and my twin sister. We moved around a lot so the first day of school was never a comfortable transition for me. The morning of this particular first day of school, my mother told us to look out for needles full of drugs. No joke. WTF Mom. I honestly thought I'd show up at school and would have to look out for people with needles getting ready to jab me.  Looking back at that story, and hearing other people's life stories about growing up, my life seemed a tad bit sheltered and rather behind.

I never drank in grade school or smoked pot or did drugs - which apparently was the thing to do then. Who knew. I wouldn't have even known where to get any of that shit. All that time I was happily playing badminton outside while people were doing that stuff. Late bloomer.

I was asked out once in Grade Seven and never had a boyfriend throughout highschool, unless you count the boy next door, but we were never "official". Late bloomer. 

My sense of style was horrendous (cartoon animal printed sweatshirts - enough said). People were developing styles and following trends...I honestly can't tell you what I was following. Probably what my Mom told me looked good. Late bloomer. 

I did not have my first real make out session until I was 16 (which was at a party with some guy I met that night). Late bloomer.

My first alcohol experience was when I was 17 and that just didn't go well. At all. I was more into sports and liking boys than drinking. Late bloomer.

My first kind of "date" was for my highschool senior prom. Sad. Late bloomer.

I smoked pot for the first time when I was 20 years old at university. Very late bloomer *sigh*.

Sex...well that was also late - but that was a personal choice as I wanted to be in a serious relationship - and the age I will not disclose but it was later than most (if not all) of my friends. Super late bloomer.

I suppose not doing drugs and drinking when I was 13 isn't the worst thing that could have happened to me,  but for years I felt like it was a picture of a total loser. When I was being diagnosed with ADHD at 18 I talked to my psychologist about my concerns regarding how my life was evolving at that point. She started talking about her oldest son and his own experiences and told me how things started later in life for him. She said "Lianne you are just a late bloomer." I looked at her and thought about this term and instantly felt better. It gave me hope that something will happen with my life damnit - whenever that was. Throughout university I often wondered when things would start happening for me in terms of love, career, marriage, kids, and in terms of being more cool in general.  I mean I was sort of cooler in university but still felt like that awkward kid at the cool party. Some people's lives just develop a little slower and they need more time to grow into themselves energetically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Their lives start to "come together" and unfold later in life which is what I am experiencing. This year I turn 34 and things are beginning to unfold and it is very exciting. Although I'm still not fully settled in my career path, nor am I anywhere close to being married or having kids, I feel like I'm coming into my own finally. I'm starting to develop and utilize the talents I pushed aside for years and am starting to appreciate my body and spirit. The trials and tribulations and teen angst has helped me become a more humble and modest person and way less judgmental. By being a late bloomer I've been able to observe others more closely to see what I do and don't want in my life. It has also made me realize that patience is something I need to develop more of. I really don't want to be locked in a set plan right now. Obviously if a more permanent plan presents itself to me and it's a great opportunity I will consider it then, but I'd rather embrace life's surprises in the meantime and continue seeing where life takes me. I have to accept that I'm a turtle - slow and steady can still experience triumph and success all while going at their own pace. My challenge at this point (being a restless spirit) is controlling the "hare" in me a bit better ;)

SO HERE'S TO ALL THE LATE BLOOMERS!!!! And congrats to all the other people who have found happiness in life :)

Lovely Lianne :) XO

Another reference as well to check out: