Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Have You Ever Felt Like You Were Wasting Your Precious Time?

Accompanied by "Watchin' The Wheels" by John Lennon.


Thought I'd write a quick note as I'm feeling ever so motivated to do stuff today. This could in fact become a novel as per usual but I'll try hard to cut it short!!! I started writing this blog when I was on a 7 day juice cleanse (www.totalcleanse.ca...PLUG!). Yes juice cleanse. Just juice for seven whole days. And water. And tea. For someone who LOVES to eat I thought this was surely going to be a challenge. However...I survived and four days ago I finished it and am starting to eat some real food (if you consider salads real food). Blah. During these trying seven days, I started to make a few realizations about myself. The whole process made me slow down a bit, and really just be present with my thoughts. I started this blog on Day 3 so let me fill you in on the first two days first...you know...so you know how they were:

DAY 1: Tortured by my brother eating a delicious Harvey's bacon cheeseburger and a poutine in my car. Thank you, but get the eff out of my effing car.

DAY 2: Great. Not hungry. Delicious juices.

NOW...DAY 3:

I'm on day 3 of a "Purify" cleanse and because I'm not stuffing my face every hour I've acquired a lot of time to think and do shit. Today has been a bit hard as I'm really wanting a hamburger!!! Or a pizza... but instead, I'm drinking some delicious green juice....yum. I wanted to give my system a rest from all the crap I've been ingesting since the summer - beer, junk, shit. That's it. I want to get back into eating healthy again and eating the types of foods that I should be eating - no gluten, no dairy, no refined sugar. What a difference it really makes.

During the last three days with all this time on my hands I've thought a lot about my life (well I guess that's not really new eh?). I've realized how much time I've wasted so far on meaningless things. Perhaps it's because I work too many hours and I don't have the energy or motivation to do ANOTHER thing that requires any energy or brain power, but that can be changed. I need to re-prioritize.

Some revelations I've made this past week are:

1) I love food!! I love it!!!!! God help me!!!! I'm torturing myself.
2) I love Harvey's. 
3) I spend more then enough time on the Internet watching and searching stupid shit...

This is a man who shot his daughters laptop on this video cause she posted crap on Facebook about her parents enslaving her by making her do chores. 

when I should really be watching something like this...

"A Meaningful Life" by the Dalai Lama.

4) I don't know alot anything about world issues. That's a big one. I'm so out of the loop because I hate seeing all the negative news that's plastered throughout the news programs and newspapers.

Guy: "Who's the president?"
Me: "Fuck if I know."
Guy: "Who's at war right now?"
Me: "People...with...guns...and tanks..."
Guy: "Who is running in the US elections?"
Me: "A bunch of liars."
Guy: "What is socialism?"
Me: Blank stare. "A movement for people that want to be...social?"

This is of course is a bit of an exaggeration but you get my drift. It's quite pathetic really. NOW... how do I get to be so educated I ask myself:

Step One: Start to read books.
Step Two: Try to find Cole's notes on these books. Is Cole's still around? I hope so.
Step Three: Resort to Wikipedia when the books get boring.
Step Four: Skip the comics and read the actual news. 
Step Five: Take over the world with my brilliant positive news company...and watch it so that watching the news can now be less of a horrendous experience.


5) I don't do enough of what I love to do. I work too much and play too little. Which resorts to meeting less boys. Which really sucks. Which has to be stopped. Now.

6) I am really hard on myself and give up too easily - "BE KIND TO YOURSELF!" My new motto.

7) I feel trapped in my own brain sometimes and am riddled with anxiety when it comes to taking risks.

8) I say no more than yes. Although I've been taking risks and challenging myself lately with the singing and my writing, I'd like to explore life more. Expand my horizons. SO say yes more often.

9) Life is really too short. A family emergency a few weeks ago really put into perspective how we really need to cherish each moment. Spend more time with family and people that build you up in life. Not worth wasting time on people and situations that don't serve you well.

10) Life really centres a lot around food. The preparation, the thinking of it (of what to buy or to eat). It's crazy how much more time I have on my hands drinking juice!

11) I have a lot more willpower than previously thought. Yay me.

12) I have a strong feeling of being not good enough. It's generally the pressure I put on myself but I have felt very replaceable lately which really shows the core belief I have about myself.

14) Courtney from the Bachelor has got to go....er...I mean...that T.V. show on world...poverty was so moving.

15) After watching Food Inc. (yes I'm probably behind on watching that as well)...I want to become a vegetarian. I knew it was the food industry was bad, but after watching that show I began to realize just how bad it is!! Those poor chickens, and pigs, and cows, and soybeans.

16) I need to date more and get over my fear of rejection...and be less picky.
17) I really love singing and am excited to improve on this skill.

Anywho...I suppose I will stop at those mere 17 realizations. I need to change the quality of my busy life to that of meaning, filled with purposeful activities rather than just "stuff" to pass the time. That does not feed my soul or bring joy to my life.

However with that said, when I was looking for a song for this blog I fell upon John Lennon's "Watchin' The Wheels" and this quote by him (see below), and it helped me see a different side of "wasting time."

"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life." - John Lennon

Yes I definitely have to be a little more up to date with what's going on in the world, and need to find meaningful activities that bring joy to my world, but it is still ok to be happy doing the simplest things - like watching wheels go round and round....or watching Kourtney and Kim Take New York (*blush*). I am an ambitious, restless person and feel the constant need to improve and go forward, but I need to realize that perhaps I'm not wasting as much time as I think. Everything is happening for a reason each day and sometimes meaningless enjoyment is necessary *sigh*.

For now I hope everyone has a stellar week ahead!!! I'm going to go watch 60 Minutes or read some National Geographic magazines.

Au revoir! (that's me being cultured ;)
Lovely Lianne XO

Watchin' The Wheels - John Lennon Lyrics:

People say I'm crazy, doing what I'm doing
Well, they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin
When I say that I'm okay, well, they look at me kinda strange
"Surely, you're not happy now, you no longer play the game"

People say I'm lazy, dreaming my life away

Well, they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me
When I tell them that I'm doing fine watching shadows on the wall
"Don't you miss the big time, boy. You're no longer on the ball"

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round

I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go

Ahhh, people ask me questions, lost in confusion

Well, I tell them there's no problem, only solutions
Well, they shake their heads and they look at me as if I've lost my mind
I tell them there's no hurry, I'm just sitting here doing time

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round

I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go...

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