Monday, 24 October 2011

Have You Ever Been Ruled by Your Emotions?

Accompanied by India Arie's "Slow Down". This would also be applicable to my Slow Down post!!!! BUT this entire song is where I'm at right now! It's like she's singing about my life!!!! Creeeepy. 

"So long as we are under the control of disturbing emotions, real happiness is hard to find." - Dalai Lama

A change in tune after that lovely Friends With Benefits discussion, but something I've been struggling with these past few weeks that I thought I would share.

After a rather over-indulgent summer (but lots of fun nonetheless!!) I've felt the need to go into a period of hard reflection to get back on track with life. I suddenly had enough of whatever was happening in my life (decisions I was making, where my focus was being directed) and needed to just stop and be still for a little while. Perhaps it was the change of seasons that provided a catalyst for this, but whatever it was I felt the need to retract a bit. I have been reading some great books lately (10-10-10 by Suzy Welch is awesome!), going on some long walks by the trees and water close to my house, getting back to the gym FINALLY, and trying to get back into mediating. Yes MEDITATING!!! I can hear the collective gasp around the world. Most people feel this is an impossible feat for someone like me, or are shocked to know that I in fact took meditation classes that had me sitting in silence for a 45 WHOLE MINUTES without moving!!!!!! Impressive I KNOW! It was quite the accomplishment letting my constant flow of thoughts sail right through my head without attaching myself to them. PFFFFT...OK...just I attached myself to some of them, but nevertheless, I didn't vocalize these thoughts to anyone at that particular moment like I normally would so yay for freakin me! YAY I SAY!!! (Homer...I had an inner filter!!! haha let your mom know!)  Meditating is an important and necessary factor to finding clarity in your life and to feel inner peace. It allows us to silence all the chaos and emotional turmoil that resides in any one of us, and helps release those negative emotions or find truth and hear what our hearts have to say. It helps us discipline our minds and let our emotions simmer down - which means allowing ourselves to detach from them!!! This is freakin hard to do I tell you! I have definitely been ruled by my emotions more often than not which doesn't come as a surprise to anyone!! I am one that is quick to react which is not uncommon for people to do, but something that would be best to control. Who hasn't yelled at the 89 year old woman in the car in front of you going 40 in a sixty when you're late for work though?! Or who hasn't scoffed at the person with 17 food items in a 16 item lane??! Or who hasn't made things worse in their head (or perhaps an entirely different scenario) than what's actually happening in reality?  I'm only human damnit!! *sob* There really has to be a balanced state of heart and mind because that is where you'll find happiness and contentment. I've longed for that inner peace and sense of contentment, but I give into my ego and reactions too often because quite honestly it's harder to NOT react than to just calm down and find another way to solve the issue at hand.

Sometimes we actually LIKE to get caught up in the excitement or drama of a situation as it makes you feel alive or that you are feeling at all (whether it be blowing things out of proportion with your boyfriend or husband (with hopefully a damn good make-up session after), or getting so excited over chocolate that you're shaking inside). It becomes as addicting as a drug however, as you start to feed off the high whether it's good or bad. The feeling becomes familiar and you start to associate certain situations with this type of feeling. This way of living is not really living at all as there is a lack of stability associated with it. It causes stress on the body and mind and should be nipped in the bud. Once the adrenaline dies down the other extreme presents itself and its not that fun. I have struggled with feeling content when nothing is really going on in my life and when my emotions I guess are at a balanced point (which is generally thought of as a good thing to most people!!!). I equate this straight lined emotional level as having a lack of purpose and start to feel bored and like I'm not living life to its potential. I then search for the next thing that will make my life more exciting. It's a vicious circle!!!! I have to remember that it is OK to be at a stand still; to be calm at times; and to rest and be patient with life. This doesn't mean I can't have that zest for life, it just means I can have that zest for life with a clearer heart and mind!  It is not wasting time letting life unfold by itself. And it is not being a boring old person if I am NOT letting my emotions rule my world. Being grounded is the way to be apparently *sigh*.

Anywho...those are my thoughts right now. This clearly is nothing like the last post but hopefully someone can relate to this one!!!!

Til next time (which will be after Vegas...eek. Trouble fo sho biatches!!! Definitely won't be grounded there!!)

Lovely Lianne ;) XO

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