Thursday, 18 August 2011

Have You Ever Had a Vacation Hook-Up?




Accompanied By "I Wanna Sex You Up" by Color Me Bad and "Could You Be Loved" by Bob Marley. You set your own mood.

I was listening to the radio this morning on the way to work and it said that 1/3 of the population (or something like that) has randomly hooked up with someone on vacation. Who hasn't eh? If you haven't get on it. What's funny about this news report is that I was going to write this week's blog about this! It's a sign so here I go. Now...I may be at risk of making myself look like a tramp, but I can assure you I'm far from that...well...when I'm home.

Let's set the scene shall we (hypothetically of course):

"Could You Be Loved" by Bob Marley is playing in the distant background. You're lying on the beach in Jamaica under the stars beside this gorgeous guy named....uh...a guy that you've talked and flirted with all night long. Bow chica bow wow you think. You feel content, and connected.You hold hands as the ocean crashes in front of you, chatting in a VERY tipsy state for hours. You look at each other and start making out. Things start to get a little hot and heavy. Your hair softly blows in the wind (or perhaps wildly but you don't notice). Sand gets in your eyes and in your underwear but you don't care. This is just perfect. Just perfect. It doesn't matter that you can taste the beer your beau had been drinking for the whole night. It was a part of him so it didn't matter. You go back to whoever's hotel room to continue your jaunt as the beach police kick you off the beach for indecent exposure. Oops. You stumble around the room...rip off your clothes as your beau takes a nap (aka. passed out). The rest is of course up to your imagination. Perhaps he was woken up. Perhaps he wasn't. The next day you wake up...look at the OK looking guy next to you smelling like stale alcohol, gently nudge him to wake up. He looks at you...you look at him...and you ask "what the eff is your name again?"

Oh vacation hook ups. How I love you. For me a vacation hook up seems to be the only action I get these days. Like seriously...for me to get ANY action I actually HAVE to leave the province or the country. I don't know what it is...maybe I feel more free and relaxed, maybe I drink more alcohol...maybe I actually make myself available...maybe I'm not working a hundred and one hours a week that I can actually TALK to someone period...maybe I'm just a huge commitment phobe and know it's just for fun!!! Whatever the reason...it's pathetic to think about. The spiders in my room have more sex than I do in my own room! They are certainly fun experiences but short lived. If only I could be as free while at home. C'mon Lovely Lianne!!!! C'mon. Get with the program!!! What's really funny about vacation hookups is that there is this immense amount of passion that comes along with them. You connect quickly and people you may not normally go for at home are somehow good enough to be with on vacation. He could have three eyes, green hair, and a whole body tattoo, but whatever! He's rad! When you get back you want to continue talking and connecting with them and crazily think..."omg I'm going to go to Australia, or BC, or Greece to meet them again and be with them FOREVER!!!" It all feels so romantic and fun and POSSIBLE! Pft. You do connect after the trip and talk for a bit but that eventually fizzles out as you can only talk about what happened on the trip so much. This COULD happen to some people, but that's a long shot. I CAN say that there have been a few guys I've met on vacation that I've met up with when I've gotten home. They did not work out for the long term but it happened damnit! I've added four of the more significant encounters in my short 32 years of living:

NEW YORK GUY: One guy I met while I was in New York on St. Patrick's Day. I didn't even really talk to him all night but we got each other's BBM's at the end of the night and he wouldn't stop messaging me. We didn't hook up while in New York but talked pretty much everyday over BBM after I got back for four months straight. He was super nice, and older than me...and Irish. Accents are sexy. He ended up flying to Port Credit to bring me out on a date which was extremely romantic I thought, and kind of crazy. I wasn't totally sure I wanted him to come but I bit the bullet and out he flew. Why not right? I took Karate classes when I was eight. I could take him down if he turned out to be psycho! We went to dinner by the lake and out to a local bar and got a little tipsy (mainly because I was exhausted from the work day!) The night went alright, although I think he thought it went better than me (at least that's what I was getting after he kept repeating that it was such a fantastic night in my ear). I don't want to divulge too many details from the end of the night as he really is a great guy so that will be kept secret! He flew out again once more a month later and we went to a soccer game and a friends BBQ. It was comfortable and he got along great with my friends. It felt good to be with someone mature and not socially retarded! He came back to my place and we chatted and cuddled but couldn't do much else as my dog wouldn't stop barking at us. She jumped on my bed and sat on his pillow above his head and once below his feet. And she spooned with me! Fucking dog. It was brutal. Needless to say logistically it wasn't happening. He owned a business in New York and I wasn't about to move there (although I love New York City!). Ah well. C'est la vie.

BEN: Then there was Ben. Ben oh Ben. I met him while on an East Coast road trip with my two girlfriends. We met at a bar called Cheers in Halifax (which was our first destination) and he boldly came up to our table of three girls and sat down. He was kind of short (but cute) which I don't normally go for as I'm pretty tall for a girl, but I had a least 8 shots or more by that point and didn't really care. I wanted to kiss a boy and that's what I aimed to do. I actually would have preferred to make out with his tall hot friend but Ben was the ballsy one so Ben it was. Throughout the night he got more and more drunk and even called one of the guys I was with a fag. I slapped his face. You would think that that comment would have deterred me from hooking up with Ben, but no. Beer goggles were tightly fastened around my face and the logical part of my brain was completely turned off. Stupid alcohol. We all stumbled home and whatever happened...uh...happened that night. The next day we exchanged numbers and my friends and I continued on our road trip. Ben was from Ontario and we decided to set up a date when I got home. I thought I'd give him a chance, even with him being short and all. We went to a Jays game and out for dinner and he drank the whole time. It was definitely not the most romantic time but it was fun I guess. We got a long pretty well and met up with some people I knew that we randomly met walking back to his hotel. We all partied that night at The Gladstone (it was karaoke night). That's where things got messy. At the end of the night when we jumped in the cab to go home, he told the cab driver who was wearing a turban that he had a nice hairdo which I got so angry about and I started to yell at him. Then he told this actor that I really liked (since it was TIFF week) that he was a fag. Like seriously guy??? Are you scared of them?? I was completely turned off and that was that! HAH.

VEGAS BOY: Oh Vegas. The land of gambling and secrets. Sin City. And boy did I ever sin. After kissing one guy already and losing my camera (which I proceeded to cry really hard about) at Rain Nightclub, I met "Sean". We talked and danced while Run DMC was doing his thang, and we were having a great time. He seemed pretty cute from what I was able to see, and we seemed to have endless conversation (which probably consisted of a lot of repetition..."Oh this is fun". Yah it's so fun". "Oh this is so fun". "Uh yah...this is so fun."). At the end of the night we shared a long kiss and got each other's phone numbers. This was only the second night that my friends and I were there so there was definite potential to meet up again. And this we did. We met up the second last night I was there. He came over after to my room as he was at a bar in the hotel I was staying at. I had just puked my guts out and I looked ravishing. I quickly brushed my teeth and opened the hotel door. My friend was passed out in the bed beside mine so we ended up going into the lobby to "talk". We actually did talk and we made out on the couch in front of the elevators probably for like two hours. I'm pretty sure the lobby camera caught most of it which I'm sure was nothing new. I'm also sure there was worse things they've seen on those cameras. So blah blah blah we kept kissing and we perhaps ended up in the ice machine room and the staircase at one point to uh...inspect the space. It was quite animalistic and passionate and bad of me but it's Vegas so why not. We didn't part until 8:30 that morning and didn't see each other for the rest of our trip. So sad.

And last but not least....

QUEBEC-ACTION: This trip deserves a blog in itself because it was one of the biggest debacles of my life. It could be Hangover 3 really. I will not be giving too much information about this trip as it will just confirm to my mom that I am in fact an alcoholic (which I am not!). I first of all didn't think I would wake up without a hangover let alone get any action that night. I met "T", who was a Westcoaster, when I ventured back to the place I had my last memory, which was the Chateau Frontenac. This is where we all were pre-drinking. I was hoping I would find my camera and phone as I had them both in someone's room. It was 4:30 a.m. when I started walking to the hotel and I don't know how I was functioning to tell you the truth. By the look of everyone else's faces when I arrived on the 4th floor, neither could they. They looked like they were seeing a ghost. "T" knew who I was due to what ensued 5 hours prior, I however did not remember "T". What I will say is that he is a great guy. He was genuinely concerned for me and he walked around outside with me so I could have some sort of night! The sun was coming up which was kind of nice. THEN whatever happened...happened. Haha. The end. We contacted each other for a long while after that and still text once in a while which is nice. 

There have been a few other scandalous adventures after these ones that I will keep between the people who were a part of them and the friends that I told. HA. I've probably already divulged too much information. Why not add a little excitement to an overworked life though eh? As long as you are safe and you tell your friends where you are going then you are good. That's my advice kids. I am making an extra effort these days to meet people that live closer to me (meaning I'm actually talking to people here period). Not to just hook-up, but to maybe pursue something REAL!! Sigh. The trials of single life.

I hope everyone has a great rest of the week :) Til next time people.

Lovely Lianne ;) XO





8 comments:

  1. haha, hysterical Lianne! ummmm, why didn't you at least keep NYC guy on the hook...free accommodations for you (and me)!! hahaha!!
    xoxo Key

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If your man is pushing you away and acting distant

      Or if the guy you’re after isn’t giving you the time of day...

      Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.

      Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing you can say to a standoffish guy that will grab him by the heartstrings-

      And get his blood pumping at just the thought of you.

      Insert subject line here and link it to <=========> Your ex won’t be able to resist?

      Once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...

      It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you-

      And even begging to be with you.

      Here’s what I’m talking about:

      Insert subject line here and link it to <========> Is your man hiding something? He may need your help?

      Thanks again.











      .

      Delete
  2. Longest blog ever. I stopped reading after New York Guy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh Lianne, ur a wonderful girl & im sure that u will find true love when the time is right. :) & like u said, maybe u do work a bit tooo much hrs but never the less u seem to be enjoying life to the fullest. xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh Lianne I guess we share the same spiders in our rooms:-)))Big kiss from France!Lucia

    ReplyDelete
  5. Bahaha! I agree with Anonymous #1's comment about New York guy - I would move there in a heart beat! Vacation hook-ups are pretty sweet indeed (VA Beach, San Antonio, Toronto... yikes!)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lianne! Why aren't you writing us back?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Heeeey Everyone! So sorry for ignoring you!
    KEY...I know...I shoulda held on to him! He's on my FB haha...sooo we shall see!!
    2) Longest blog...sorry. Can't help that.
    3) I do work lots but thanks for all that positivity :) xoxoxo
    4) We must Lucia!!! Damn spiders although I may have broken that streak of nothing recently! woohoo!
    5) BRAE! Bad girl! love it! hahaha I'd love to move to NYC :( Just wouldn't have known about a job to actually survive there! haha

    THERE! Love you guys so much for tuning in! Makes me smile and makes me want to continue! xo

    ReplyDelete