Have You Ever - HAPPY NEW YEAR - 2015 In Review!

Accompanied by Don't Worry Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin

Hello All!

I have not written in a while, but felt the need to continue the tradition of my year in review so here it goes! :)

I have always loved New Year's Eve. There is magic to this night - the excitement of getting dressed up for a night on the town, time spent with the people you love, the hope and promise of a new year. A restart essentially. Setting new intentions for the upcoming year and looking back on what happened the previous year. It's all so MAGICAL!!!! AHH! Of course we can start anew any time of the year, but there's always a bit more motivation starting on day one of the new year. Throwing out all the chips and chocolate from your pantry into the garbage can with determination. Signing up for that gym membership with fervour. Purging out the old to make room for the new ways of being. I can feel the energy building up as I write this!!!! Of course the key is to set goals that are attainable. Small steps so you are not defeated before you even begin!! That's my lesson for sure. BRING IT ON 2016! I've been waiting patiently for you! er...trying to wait patiently. Er...what does patience mean?

I don't know about anyone else but 2015 seemed to fly by with the fastest speed, and the energy felt quite unsettled at times. The weather was crazy, abuse scandals were uncovered, acts of terrorism and fear were on full display, riots were occurring, mass shootings were happening. Some truly scary stuff. I know these events have been happening for many years, but this year felt like there was more chaos and I know that I was not alone in that feeling. Everything is bubbling to the surface and becoming exposed, which perhaps is what we need - that awareness. It was a STRANGE EFFING YEAR and I'm excited to see what the new year has to bring!!

With that said, there were also some wonderful times and great reminders that good and good people live in this world as well. Here are some highlights of my own year:

HIGHLIGHTS OF 2015:

01) My brother and sister-in-law's wedding in Brazil this past February! Two weeks of gloriousness and my first time in South America!

02) Not keeling over during my 11th year doing the WWF CN Tower Climb.
03) Fires by the lake with my friends watching the moon rise,
and chatting about life.
04) Finally getting to see Mumford and Sons this year with my beautiful friend Andrea!
05) Biking around Niagara-on-the-Lake with my bestie Deana!
06) My adventure to Woodstock, NY to watch Amy Helm & friends kick ass at The Barn with my
      amazing friend & photographer Lisa MacIntosh. We staying at an old school house on the
      grounds of a very old cemetery. Definitely a bucket list item crossed off.

07) Watching the Jays almost get to the World Series after 20 years!!!
08) Traveling around Ontario with my band Whiskey Epiphany and having a pretty successful year musically.

09) Opening for the Barra MacNeils in Windsor at the Carrousel by the River Festival.
10) The growth of my dog sitting business - love all the furballs I've taken care of this year!
11) Adventures in British Columbia this year - Capilano Bridge, Steveston, White Rock, Victoria!
12) Deciding to pay my debt off once and for all! Woot!
13) Helping stage direct JR Digs Acoustic Christmas Party
14) Volunteering at The Ladybird Soiree
15) Playing a wedding in NY this year!!
16) Cottage weekend with my gal pal Lianne A1!

REALIZATIONS:

01) One major realization this year that I actually felt within my core is that life really is precious and short and we need to truly be grateful that we are living. I always knew this in theory, but as I'm getting older and seeing people's lives unfold, or be cut short too soon, I actually FEEL it. Life is here to enjoy and we can do anything we set our minds to, despite the obstacles we may face along the way. It's having that belief within ourselves that we can do it and not allowing that belief to be shaken by anything. The risk and the unknown can be scary but how else do we live our best life if we do not make a move. This is my own lesson to learn.

02) My feelings of being unlovable have come to the forefront this year more prominently - that I have needed to DO rather than BE to feel deserving of love.

03) I might become a spinster with 10 dogs.
04) That it is OK to be still and just wait. Even if that feels completely uncomfortable.
05) That it is OK to be you and you do not have to justify that.

INTENTIONS FOR 2016:

01) Work on getting to truly know myself and eliminate any limiting ways of thinking.
02) Take better care of myself - eat better, exercise, meditate, get outside more, more positive self-talk!

03) Go on some traveling adventures!
04) LIVE PRESENTLY WITH JOY!! - This is always a goal :)
05) Observe rather than react to life - fly high in the sky above all the chaos like the mighty Hawk :)

06) BE OF SERVICE! (check out www.ladybirdanimalsanctuary.com)
07) Release our EP that is already in progress and continue to work towards more growth with our band!

08) WRITE MORE!!
09) Redefine what love means to me and open my heart up.
10) Spend less time on social media - and stop comparing my life to others lives!

11) Worry less :) AND JUST BE!!

I hope that you all have an amazing night tonight and that your own 2016's are filled with adventure, love, happiness, lessons learned, obstacles overcome, realizations made, growth had. I'm sending out love and peace to our world in hopes that we see a less volatile society in the future.

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!!!! 

Love,
Lovely Lianne xoxoxo

Cottage Weekend with Lianne

The Barra MacNeils at Carrousel of Nations

Elaine's favourite destination in Brazil

At a Beatles bloco during Carnival in Brazil. Flower child. Peace!

The very colourful costumes around Brazil in Rio during Carnival

Flamenco Beach in Brazil - just hanging around before the party started!

Ilha Grande Island in Brazil

My bro and I waiting for the plane to take off

Christ the Redeemer

Fires by the lake with friends

Jays game :)

Mumford & Sons Concert in Niagara!

Riding around Niagara-on-the-Lake with beautiful Deana :)

Steveston Village, BC

Wedding in Brazil with Bob!

And they are MARRIED! AH!

White Rock, BC

Our very eccentric hotel in Woodstock, NY

Woodstock, NY with Lisa!

After our climb up the CN Tower!

She kicked my ass.

Christmas Party in Victoria!!! 

Caledonia Fair with Whiskey Epiphany

Have You Ever Lived Your Best Life Possible?

  

Accompanied by "Get On Your Feet" by Gloria Estefan.

Hello All!!

I needed this today. This video by my new friend Kate Drummond was one I could completely relate to. It inspired this blog and got me out of my funk. Link is below if you'd like to watch as well :) I recommend it!

CLICK HERE:

Chasing dreams and beginning again | Kate Drummond | TEDxStMaryCSSchool

This last little while I've been feeling super weird. Super lost. Super numb. Super uneasy and anxious. I'm 36 years old and still trying to love myself. To accept myself. To enjoy being in my skin. I have lived my life listening to other people's versions of how to possibly live my life, trying to find a place in the world and make sense of why we are even here. It's been an emotional roller coaster of a life thus far, full of joy, triumphs, heart ache, anxiety, depression, frenzy, adventures. I was the kid with the big feet, the kid who was too tall, towering over all the boys and never being the one to get picked for a dance. I was timid, self-conscious, and desperately trying to be accepted, all while not really accepting myself in the process. I was the kid that constantly got grounded for being mouthy and opinionated, for sticking up for myself, for talking too much in class, and being forced to become friends with classroom corners. I have been searching for my purpose in life, dabbling in everything possible to make something out of myself, but what does that even mean? What does MAKE something actually look like and why is it so important to me? Why do I want to be in the spotlight so bad? Why do I want to impact people so much? What is my driving force? Part of it is about seeking validation. There is such a strong desire to be seen and validated because I've felt invisible and unworthy, and unlovable, and unheard for so many years. I want to prove to those people and myself that that isn't true. I AM SOMETHING. Or am I? Perhaps I am a failure. Perhaps I won't be anything in life, whatever that means. How many people have felt like failures based on not getting ahead or not being that version of success that society puts on such a pedestal? What is success truly?

I quit my part-time job in the summer time and it's been quite a process trying to be content with so much time on my hands. It's given me the chance to spend some quality time with me, myself and I and god damnit that has been hard to do. I have ADHD so sitting down for five minutes to do anything that takes a large amount of concentration and soul searching is hard to do. I want instant gratification and results - LIKE FIVE MINUTES AGO! It takes a whole life time to figure out who you are because who you are changes a million times over. That's a little daunting. We are constantly evolving, and having the patience and insight to accept those changes can be unnerving and hard for someone who doesn't have patience at all. Patience really IS A VIRTUE I TELL YOU!! And what?? I'm supposed to spend time with me?? Can I stand doing that? For a large part of my life, I've had this fear that people will get bored of me. That I won't have enough to say or I haven't done enough in my life to have them stick around. Why would I want to spend time with THAT person? No way. I'd rather spin my wheels some more and distract myself from really truly getting to know myself. BUT where has that gotten me so far? In limboland...that's where and kind of alone. It takes work to be honest with yourself and have compassion for yourself. Being honest with yourself and truly looking in the mirror and accepting whatever good or bad things have happened to you thus far is HARD! That takes accepting the truth in general. I have not been a perfect person. I have done things that have cost me a job I love, made me feel ashamed, regretful, all sorts of different emotions. I'm doing my best to be the person I want to be proud of and I'm trying to learn to be less reactive and frustrated and....patient.

Kate really opened my eyes again and reminded me that success doesn't mean your name in lights. Success is being happy within yourself and living out the dreams you want to live out - despite where they might get you in life. We are here to be joyful, and present and grateful that we are alive. Life presents us with so many lessons and it is our job to look at those lessons as opportunities and grow from them. They are another clue and stepping stone to figuring out who you are as a person and live the life you've always imagined. Being honest with yourself and truly being grateful, attracts so much abundance and positive energy into your life, you won't even know what to do with it!!! It's because you are living through your heart centre. You exude so much happiness, that the universe can't help but amplify that and hand you over what you've always desired.  I recently started an abundance course, full of meditations and questions to sift through to start chipping away at the blocks in my life which includes thoughts of lack, of my tremendous fear of failure and not living up to my potential before I die, of not being good enough in this world. We are all good enough. We are all lovable. We are all worthy of the best life, despite the mistakes we make in our lives along the way. I want to walk around this earth knowing wholeheartedly that it is OK to not be perfect. That my shit stinks like everyone else's. Freeing myself of caring what other people think and taking life into my own hands instead of living out what other people think is good for me will be a struggle but an amazing feat at the end of it all!

It's OK to not have all your shit together all the time. To not have all the answers. I don't need to put that unnecessary pressure on myself any longer. It's OK to fumble and stumble through life until answers come to you. It's OK to not know where you want to go. It's OK to be in the dark until the light comes shining through eventually. There are no rules on how to live your life. It's a hard thing to do making a life for yourself. It's a hard thing taking a leap to doing what you want to truly do once you figure that out or finally listen to your heart. Who cares if that means you want to join the circus, collect garbage, be a mailman, pick up shit for a living. If that's what you love, then go for it!!!! That love will attract more love, and more love, and more love. And people will be inspired and will bask in that love and that passion you exude and try and make their own best life! Let your pilot light BURN BRIGHT (as Kate mentioned), keep moving forward and be the best person you can be!

My life long dream involves helping people in whatever capacity. It's still to be determined how that will look like but I have many ideas. I've always wanted to write a children's book about being yourself, and being OK with being different. I've also wanted to perform as a musician and be a motivational speaker but again, gaining the confidence that I have what it takes to do that is still in the works.

Thank you Kate Drummond for yet another inspiring piece of information to help me along my journey. You inspired me and I'm very proud of you for taking the leap to living your OWN BEST LIFE!!!

Love you all!

Lovely Lianne xoxo