Have You Ever Had a Vacation Hook-Up?

Accompanied By "I Wanna Sex You Up" by Color Me Bad and "Could You Be Loved" by Bob Marley. You set your own mood.

I was listening to the radio this morning on the way to work and it said that 1/3 of the population (or something like that) has randomly hooked up with someone on vacation. Who hasn't eh? If you haven't get on it. What's funny about this news report is that I was going to write this week's blog about this! It's a sign so here I go. Now...I may be at risk of making myself look like a tramp, but I can assure you I'm far from that...well...when I'm home.

Let's set the scene shall we (hypothetically of course):

"Could You Be Loved" by Bob Marley is playing in the distant background. You're lying on the beach in Jamaica under the stars beside this gorgeous guy named....uh...a guy that you've talked and flirted with all night long. Bow chica bow wow you think. You feel content, and connected.You hold hands as the ocean crashes in front of you, chatting in a VERY tipsy state for hours. You look at each other and start making out. Things start to get a little hot and heavy. Your hair softly blows in the wind (or perhaps wildly but you don't notice). Sand gets in your eyes and in your underwear but you don't care. This is just perfect. Just perfect. It doesn't matter that you can taste the beer your beau had been drinking for the whole night. It was a part of him so it didn't matter. You go back to whoever's hotel room to continue your jaunt as the beach police kick you off the beach for indecent exposure. Oops. You stumble around the room...rip off your clothes as your beau takes a nap (aka. passed out). The rest is of course up to your imagination. Perhaps he was woken up. Perhaps he wasn't. The next day you wake up...look at the OK looking guy next to you smelling like stale alcohol, gently nudge him to wake up. He looks at you...you look at him...and you ask "what the eff is your name again?"

Oh vacation hook ups. How I love you. For me a vacation hook up seems to be the only action I get these days. Like seriously...for me to get ANY action I actually HAVE to leave the province or the country. I don't know what it is...maybe I feel more free and relaxed, maybe I drink more alcohol...maybe I actually make myself available...maybe I'm not working a hundred and one hours a week that I can actually TALK to someone period...maybe I'm just a huge commitment phobe and know it's just for fun!!! Whatever the reason...it's pathetic to think about. The spiders in my room have more sex than I do in my own room! They are certainly fun experiences but short lived. If only I could be as free while at home. C'mon Lovely Lianne!!!! C'mon. Get with the program!!! What's really funny about vacation hookups is that there is this immense amount of passion that comes along with them. You connect quickly and people you may not normally go for at home are somehow good enough to be with on vacation. He could have three eyes, green hair, and a whole body tattoo, but whatever! He's rad! When you get back you want to continue talking and connecting with them and crazily think..."omg I'm going to go to Australia, or BC, or Greece to meet them again and be with them FOREVER!!!" It all feels so romantic and fun and POSSIBLE! Pft. You do connect after the trip and talk for a bit but that eventually fizzles out as you can only talk about what happened on the trip so much. This COULD happen to some people, but that's a long shot. I CAN say that there have been a few guys I've met on vacation that I've met up with when I've gotten home. They did not work out for the long term but it happened damnit! I've added four of the more significant encounters in my short 32 years of living:

NEW YORK GUY: One guy I met while I was in New York on St. Patrick's Day. I didn't even really talk to him all night but we got each other's BBM's at the end of the night and he wouldn't stop messaging me. We didn't hook up while in New York but talked pretty much everyday over BBM after I got back for four months straight. He was super nice, and older than me...and Irish. Accents are sexy. He ended up flying to Port Credit to bring me out on a date which was extremely romantic I thought, and kind of crazy. I wasn't totally sure I wanted him to come but I bit the bullet and out he flew. Why not right? I took Karate classes when I was eight. I could take him down if he turned out to be psycho! We went to dinner by the lake and out to a local bar and got a little tipsy (mainly because I was exhausted from the work day!) The night went alright, although I think he thought it went better than me (at least that's what I was getting after he kept repeating that it was such a fantastic night in my ear). I don't want to divulge too many details from the end of the night as he really is a great guy so that will be kept secret! He flew out again once more a month later and we went to a soccer game and a friends BBQ. It was comfortable and he got along great with my friends. It felt good to be with someone mature and not socially retarded! He came back to my place and we chatted and cuddled but couldn't do much else as my dog wouldn't stop barking at us. She jumped on my bed and sat on his pillow above his head and once below his feet. And she spooned with me! Fucking dog. It was brutal. Needless to say logistically it wasn't happening. He owned a business in New York and I wasn't about to move there (although I love New York City!). Ah well. C'est la vie.

BEN: Then there was Ben. Ben oh Ben. I met him while on an East Coast road trip with my two girlfriends. We met at a bar called Cheers in Halifax (which was our first destination) and he boldly came up to our table of three girls and sat down. He was kind of short (but cute) which I don't normally go for as I'm pretty tall for a girl, but I had a least 8 shots or more by that point and didn't really care. I wanted to kiss a boy and that's what I aimed to do. I actually would have preferred to make out with his tall hot friend but Ben was the ballsy one so Ben it was. Throughout the night he got more and more drunk and even called one of the guys I was with a fag. I slapped his face. You would think that that comment would have deterred me from hooking up with Ben, but no. Beer goggles were tightly fastened around my face and the logical part of my brain was completely turned off. Stupid alcohol. We all stumbled home and whatever happened...uh...happened that night. The next day we exchanged numbers and my friends and I continued on our road trip. Ben was from Ontario and we decided to set up a date when I got home. I thought I'd give him a chance, even with him being short and all. We went to a Jays game and out for dinner and he drank the whole time. It was definitely not the most romantic time but it was fun I guess. We got a long pretty well and met up with some people I knew that we randomly met walking back to his hotel. We all partied that night at The Gladstone (it was karaoke night). That's where things got messy. At the end of the night when we jumped in the cab to go home, he told the cab driver who was wearing a turban that he had a nice hairdo which I got so angry about and I started to yell at him. Then he told this actor that I really liked (since it was TIFF week) that he was a fag. Like seriously guy??? Are you scared of them?? I was completely turned off and that was that! HAH.

VEGAS BOY: Oh Vegas. The land of gambling and secrets. Sin City. And boy did I ever sin. After kissing one guy already and losing my camera (which I proceeded to cry really hard about) at Rain Nightclub, I met "Sean". We talked and danced while Run DMC was doing his thang, and we were having a great time. He seemed pretty cute from what I was able to see, and we seemed to have endless conversation (which probably consisted of a lot of repetition..."Oh this is fun". Yah it's so fun". "Oh this is so fun". "Uh yah...this is so fun."). At the end of the night we shared a long kiss and got each other's phone numbers. This was only the second night that my friends and I were there so there was definite potential to meet up again. And this we did. We met up the second last night I was there. He came over after to my room as he was at a bar in the hotel I was staying at. I had just puked my guts out and I looked ravishing. I quickly brushed my teeth and opened the hotel door. My friend was passed out in the bed beside mine so we ended up going into the lobby to "talk". We actually did talk and we made out on the couch in front of the elevators probably for like two hours. I'm pretty sure the lobby camera caught most of it which I'm sure was nothing new. I'm also sure there was worse things they've seen on those cameras. So blah blah blah we kept kissing and we perhaps ended up in the ice machine room and the staircase at one point to uh...inspect the space. It was quite animalistic and passionate and bad of me but it's Vegas so why not. We didn't part until 8:30 that morning and didn't see each other for the rest of our trip. So sad.

And last but not least....

QUEBEC-ACTION: This trip deserves a blog in itself because it was one of the biggest debacles of my life. It could be Hangover 3 really. I will not be giving too much information about this trip as it will just confirm to my mom that I am in fact an alcoholic (which I am not!). I first of all didn't think I would wake up without a hangover let alone get any action that night. I met "T", who was a Westcoaster, when I ventured back to the place I had my last memory, which was the Chateau Frontenac. This is where we all were pre-drinking. I was hoping I would find my camera and phone as I had them both in someone's room. It was 4:30 a.m. when I started walking to the hotel and I don't know how I was functioning to tell you the truth. By the look of everyone else's faces when I arrived on the 4th floor, neither could they. They looked like they were seeing a ghost. "T" knew who I was due to what ensued 5 hours prior, I however did not remember "T". What I will say is that he is a great guy. He was genuinely concerned for me and he walked around outside with me so I could have some sort of night! The sun was coming up which was kind of nice. THEN whatever happened...happened. Haha. The end. We contacted each other for a long while after that and still text once in a while which is nice. 

There have been a few other scandalous adventures after these ones that I will keep between the people who were a part of them and the friends that I told. HA. I've probably already divulged too much information. Why not add a little excitement to an overworked life though eh? As long as you are safe and you tell your friends where you are going then you are good. That's my advice kids. I am making an extra effort these days to meet people that live closer to me (meaning I'm actually talking to people here period). Not to just hook-up, but to maybe pursue something REAL!! Sigh. The trials of single life.

I hope everyone has a great rest of the week :) Til next time people.

Lovely Lianne ;) XO

Have You Ever Been To The Toronto Gift Show?

Ola!!!!! SO...I thought I'd write about the Toronto Gift Show that I went to this past weekend because my article won't really be able to talk about my own personal experience while there.

The morning started off quite early, which for me wasn't so fun considering it was my weekend "off" from my other jobs. I had to be at an awards show by 8:30 which meant that I had to set my alarm...which meant I had to hear my alarm...which meant I had to wake up. It could be a hit or miss generally. I decided to bypass the walking my dog part of the morning which for her was not very good and perhaps not a very good mommy thing to do, but I needed to function and get all the sleep I could get!!!  I didn't eat breakfast because I thought I'd only go for a couple of hours and was hoping there would be snacks there. I read the media sheet briefly to see where I was supposed to go and started my journey to The International Centre in Mississauga. When I arrived and went through the front doors of Hall 5, it was clear that I should have probably read the media sheet a little closer. I was supposed to be in an entirely different building to check-in. Oops. They were very accommodating however, and gave me a different coloured media pass until they could print me off a new one later on in the day. I just chatted with the girl in the lobby until my pass was given to me. I tried to fit in and pretend that I knew what this whole gift world was about but eff man that wasn't happening. What a world it is! The awards show itself was pretty cool as it was showcasing the 10 best products on the market for 2011 within different categories. I personally enjoyed the notebook made of limestone from Made By Humans. Pretty cool concept!!! The pages are water resistant! which is perfect for a water whore like me who spills shit on her papers all the time at work! When the awards show was over I sauntered into one of the halls where the general gifts were. I ran into a lady who made inspirational cards which is exactly what I wanted to do prior to doing this event gig. She said she was looking for writers so I'm going to jump on that!! SCORE! (check out her webpage at www.soultalk.ca). I went to a couple more booths but couldn't handle the amount of things to look at so I went to the media lounge and grabbed a coffee. By then I was debating whether or not I should go to the Congress Centre to view the rest of the booths. I decided to go based on the fact that there were free samples from all the different food vendors. Easy decision. Duh. Plus there was someone I met briefly before, running a stationary booth, so on I drove to the next venue. This venue was even more overwhelming than the last. There were so many rooms to visit! Blah! I squeezed my car in between two others which was a bad idea as it had been raining for a bit while I was driving over, which got my car wet, which in turn made my blue skirt wet on my ass as I got out of the car! Not a great impression as I'm trying to look professional as a media person. It looked like I was either sweating a lot or that I peed myself. First order of business when I stepped into the building was to dry my skirt. The walk to the washroom was really long and by the time I got there, there was hardly any wet spots on my skirt so I touched up my make up and started my walk to the food section. Wicked Gourmet was my first spot and they had fabulous dips! I tried all of them which was my breakfast for the morning. The Garlic Box was my second order of business which also had many dips and I tried all of those as well and discussed the many uses of garlic with the president of the company. If you ever get to Whole Foods try their garlic mashed potato mix!!! Amazing!!!!! And if you ever have a wart, use garlic and duck tape. Over the course of probably...10...minutes, I tried some amazing hazelnut truffles and almond gingerbread caramels from Saxon Chocolates (which I may have gone back to for seconds and talked to the president about his journey to getting to where he is now...www.saxonchocolates.com.), tried some butter tart samples from Rootham Gourmet (freaking amazing - www.roothamsgourmet.com), tried some cashew brittle from the Fudgery Shoppe, and some smoked salmon from Seachange Canadian Gifts. Their product has gone to space so obviously that needed to be eaten. I also found out one woman (who made amazing mustard's and sauces...and had chips with these sauces that obviously had to be eaten), secretly had a love of fonts. We discussed this for 20 minutes and the font choice for her bottles. There were many other stations as well, but I'm trying to avoid looking like a major pig.
     My next stop was Dave's booth which was impossible to find mainly because I can't read it seems. He works for Papere.clips which is a stationary company based out of North York. He does the graphic design there and it was neat to see all the products available that are sold within the big chains we shop at. Check out www.papereclips.com for any other information :) It was a pretty large display that looked like the size of a store!
    The entire experience of the Gift Show really showed me how hard it is to run a business, and sustain a business!!! There is so much competition out there! It's crazy! Good on you people for trying!! It's definitely a lot of work and you have to be passionate about it. I learned a lot about the whole trading part of retail, and really can say that I don't want to be a part of it!!! but thank you for letting me eat your food :)

Until next time people!!! Check out www.cgta.org if you want to learn more about the Toronto Gift Show and perhaps enter your own business as an exhibitor next year.



Bon Nuit!

Have You Ever Loved Unconditionally?

 

Accompanied by "All You Need Is Love" by The Beatles and "Everybody" by Ingrid Michaelson (great lyrics).

I haven't written a blog in a while so here it is! I'm writing about unconditional love this week because I've experienced a series of events these past few days that have produced immense anger inside. I don't like conflict AT ALL and do not like feeling this way, so I thought I'd write about love (more specifically unconditional love) to perhaps help get me out of this funk. 

As I walked my dog stewing over the issues I've been dealing with this week, I thought about how I could possibly muster up the strength to love unconditionally in the situation I am in. How can I possibly have my ego and my pride move to the side so I can send out love to this person that I'm allowing to wreak havoc in my life? How in the world did Mother Theresa do this?? How does the Dalai Lama do it? Why is it so hard much harder to love unconditionally than to continue being angry?? When I mention loving unconditionally I don't mean the romantic lovey dovey love, where hormones and lust are ruling us. What I am meaning is the kind of love that is pure, and comes straight from our hearts. This kind of love lacks judgment, and is fully and utterly complete. It is the type of love that is infinite, and not based on certain terms. Most of us probably feel that we ARE loving unconditionally, especially towards our family, friends, partners, etc., but are we? Are you letting those people be who they are without judgment? Or be who they are without expectations or demands? Are you letting them be free?? It is SO easy to judge someone based on your own perceptions of what is good or bad, and not accept someone for who they truly are. It is seemingly harder to love someone for everything that they are. In relationships of any kind, it is common to nag someone to death in order to get them to do things your way, or to try and have them live up to your standards or fit within the life YOU want. That is loving conditionally. It is the same as giving a gift with the expectation of getting something in return. How is that giving when there are strings attached?

"Hey if I give you this foot massage, can you give me three back massages because that's only fair?"

   SO how can we change this way of being so that we are all living in our hearts? It is a difficult task for sure as we live in a world full of negative media, consumerism, materialism, gossip pages, plastic surgery, greed, poverty, and so on and so on. It takes major discipline to detach yourself from all of the worlds madness and live in your heart centre. It takes major discipline to live in a more observational state of being rather than emotional state of being. By observing the world rather than reacting to the world we are able to see things clearer instead of basing our perceptions on our own emotional experiences. It takes awareness of our thoughts and our emotions to truly be able to love unconditionally. Emotions are a tricky thing and are easy to get wrapped up in. This is not saying that feeling emotion is a bad thing as it is what makes us human and alive, but learning to acknowledge the emotion, let go of it, and transmute it all into love is what is necessary. We are all put on earth to fulfill our own journeys (as I've mentioned before) and have our own personalities, and because someone doesn't fit within the mold you want for your own life, that does not make them bad or wrong. These differences need to be celebrated and loved as its what makes the world so exciting. The only way we will see the world change is by starting to love. Anger is great to kick start change, but love can kick start change as well. True love changes frequencies around us and within us, and is a universal language that can break the boundaries and limitations we are creating.  It makes us feel alive! It also is better for your health :) Think of the anxiety and physical pain negative emotions create in your life.

Additionally, when thinking about unconditional love, I can't help but think about the kind of love that's felt from our beloved pets who greet us at the door each day (or perhaps each minute) with this excitement and joy. Or that sit at our feet staring adoringly at us despite anything we may have done in our life that was deemed "wrong".  It has been said over and over again how pets are a true testament of unconditional love and this I feel is true. My dog is a little bit crazy but she is definitely a learning lesson for me in learning to love unconditionally and be accepting of others differences.  I was once walking her apologizing profusely for her psycho behaviour and this woman came up to me saying "you don't have to be sorry for who she is." She is who she is. Despite the fact that she is a little bit dangerous, the lesson did ring true and it made me really think. If we were being loved unconditionally we wouldn't have to feel the need to defend who we are to people. And if we were loving unconditionally we wouldn't be producing the need for someone else to defend themselves. 

Anywho...just some food for thought tonight. I have found some quotes that followed along the same lines as what I've said in this blog. I hope everyone has a fabulous evening and rest of the week. This definitely helped me clear some of my own thoughts.

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them." ~ Thomas Merton

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get–only with what you are expecting to give–which is everything."~ Katherine Hepburn

"Love is, above all, the gift of oneself." ~ Jean Anouilh

"Love, true love, is that which can give the most without asking or demanding anything in return." ~ Mazie Hammond

"Love… What is love? Love is to love someone for who they are, who they were, and who they will be." ~ Chris Moore

"Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration of another’s personhood." ~ Karen Casey

 

Have You Ever Been Confused About Dating Rules?

Accompanied by am8er: 10 Date Commandments feat Lil Kim:
So I've blogged about being a pathetic dater (which sadly has not changed), however even though there is that patheticness (it's SO a word) I have still delved into the dating world regardless. I have to say...I know why I wasn't part of it in the first place for so long!!!!!! It is SO CONFUSING! Some days I wish the dating world was the same as it used to be....like in my Grandma's time where chivalry was the norm.

Girl meets boy.
She stares at him.
He stares at her.
HE approaches HER.
They "court".
He asks her to be his woman.
The end.

Now a days there's a ton of confusion of who even asks who anymore! Everyone is scared to get rejected or are confused with what the appropriate next step is to do when you like someone. I was reading an article the other day entitled "Are You Chasing Him?" and I couldn't help but think how stupid the dating game is. You aren't allowed to be friendly, or nice, or thoughtful because you will be looking like a stalker or looking too eager. And don't you look at him with your left eye while walking on your right foot or else he will think you are chasing him. And HELL! if you look at him at all he might think you want to marry him!!! I guess the only logical thing for me to do is close both my eyes and stand in one spot and hope that something happens.

CHIVALRY: Now a days chivalry isn't really existent and I blame the fact that we woman feel we HAVE to do everything for ourselves. Eff the guy who wants to do something nice and hold a door open for us (yah I'm capable of touching a handle and pulling it but who cares!!!)...or pay for dinner...or pay our school loans. Wait that's later on right? I personally LIKE chivalry. You feel respected and provided for which is something a man naturally wants to do. It's in their human nature to want to take on that role. I want to be courted. I'd like to not have to make all the decisions all the time and I'd like to feel like there is effort being made or some sort of pursuit happening (more specifically with a guy I actually like). And I like god damn flowers too!!!!! I certainly don't want to feel only like an object of someone's penis affection, so the whole courting phase is necessary. The whole respect thing is necessary. People move so fast these days and then things just fizzle out or become too complicated too early. I don't want that. I'd rather be the tortoise in this instance as I'm the hare in all other aspects of my life.

CALM & COLLECTED: Another rule is to remain calm and cool and not look super eager. Well that's awesome for someone who gets excited over a piece of lint. Or shiny things. Or cute little animals! Being a naturally excitable person, stifling this aspect of myself has been SUPER hard. I haven't felt this excited about actually wanting to be in a relationship in so long so remaining calm is not an easy feat. Why is it so bad to show someone you are interested and excited to see them or be with them? Doesn't someone WANT to know that you are interested? Why does there have to be so many rules to restrict a natural feeling??! I DON'T GET IT!!!!

DON'T HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE TOO SOON: Everyone has heard this before and I was recently reminded of this rule by my Hyundai shuttle driver named Dave (as I mentioned on Facebook). I personally agree that this is necessary because once you sleep with someone everything changes. Girls especially become attached too soon when they don't even really know that person so well. Then once the person isn't all that they are cracked up to be, the break-up is far worse because of that stupid attachment (this coming from some sort of experience!!). At this point I am grateful I fell off my horse as I'm not able to really move right now! Sorry potential person I'm going to meet.

Anywho...there are plenty of other rules as well. Here is the little list we have to follow (and that is said with total sarcasm!!!!):

(From: http://www.topdatingtips.com/dating-rules-for-women.htm)

• - Always look great, whatever your income. Gorgeous hair and some lipstick with rags will still turn his head. You have the advantage. You are the woman. Look your best as you could meet a potential Mr. Right anywhere at any time.
• - Never reveal information you don't have to. An enigmatic woman drives men wild.
• - Keep dates brief, but your men interested. Less is always more.
• - Try and stay in shape and involve some fitness regime at a gym. However much you hate it, your Mr. Right loves your body as much as your mind.
• - Let your man pay. If he is interested, he is interested enough to ensure you eat well and get home safely in a cab.
• - Ensure you receive flowers. If he doesn't know what a florist is, dump him.
• - Never ever sleep with a guy until he has fallen for you. Sex early in your dating game plan will ruin everything.
• - Always keep a guy waiting and never turn up early. It is a lady's perogative.
• - Never be available when he wants you to be. Never be at the end of a phone when he calls and always let him leave a message or two first before replying.
• - If he is available Tuesday, you are available Thursday.
• - Weekend shopping trips with girlfriends are sacred and not available for dates.
• - Keep your man standing on quicksand by shifting landmarks and goalposts constantly.
• - Ensure you are a good kisser. Men will walk away if you cannot kiss. Practice on a mirror if you have to.
• - Never ever talk about previous boyfriends, particularly their prowess in the bedroom. Your ex-boyfriends are your business only.
• - Never assume anything about your date until you choose to know him better. You cannot always tell by looking.
• - If any man shows the slightest signs of possessiveness or insecurity, run like the wind. Life is too short for boys.
• - If his shoes or hygiene are a disgrace, dump him.
• - Never talk too much about your father and how your date measures up in comparison.
• - Never ever come across as too available or too desperate. He will run a mile. He is the one doing the chasing.
• - If the guy in the corner is gorgeous, go get him and create the need in him for you. Never wait for men to come to you because you may watch him leave with someone else.
• - You may well have all the bodily functions of a man, just try not to demonstrate them early on.
• - If you want a child, don't mention it on the first few dates.
• - Never ever criticize his mother unless you want to remain single.

Online Dating Rules

• Always let them come to you, don't chase them via email.
• Block anyone who annoys you instantly.
• Post the best and most vampish photo you can find.
• Don't reply to instant messages with clever opening lines.
• Remain aloof and let yourself be chased.
• Always reply to emails at least 3 days after receipt.
• Never provide your real email or phone details.
• Always date safely and protect yourself at every turn.
• Make sure your login name is stunning and sexy, as well as enigmatic.
• Do not login for hours on end. Short, rapid visits are best.
• Do not assume the person you are talking to is destitute or sad.
• Never ever reply to emails on weekends. Wait until a weekday.
• Never state how good your sexual performance is in your profile.
• If you don't want to date married men, spell it out in your profile.
• A man who doesn't reply to your email within 3 days should be ignored.
• Make sure your humor levels come across in text.
• Do not chat to hundreds of men at once. The delay in replying is a dead giveaway and your Mr. Right will be off.
• Don't even think about misrepresenting your size or description. They will find out.
• Come across as cool and sophisticated for best results

Totally short eh? Not too hard to follow or remember. Why don't we all just become robots and get those rules programmed in. I better start practicing my kissing on a pillow to avoid my man walking away. PSHHHH.

What happened to "just be yourself??" Isn't that enough??? *GUSHING TEARS* I'm not good at playing games.

If there are any escapades to talk about I will include them in future blogs. Wish me luck everyone!!!! I am a natural crammer for exams so these rules are going to take a while to trickle into my brain. 

Have a great weekend!!!!

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**ANNOUNCEMENT: www.canadianspecialevents.com Articles Published!!!!**

Accompanied by "A Beautiful Morning" by The Rascals as it was a beautiful morning seeing this news!!!! 


Hey All!!!

I just wanted to forward on some exciting news! For anyone interested in reading the articles I've been writing for the events I've been going to, they've finally been published on www.canadianspecialevents.com under ON SITE (it's an icon on the right hand side of the front page)!

My articles are scattered throughout so you'll have to scroll through them to find them!!! (you will see my name as an author so it's easy to find). The Toronto Taste article can be connected to on the front page of the website (yeehaw)! The link for the section is also listed below :)

http://canadianspecialevents.com/category/cse_on_site/

I have some other events to go to throughout the next few months so I'm guessing some of them will be published in this new section of the website. Stay tuned!


Just wanted to also say...THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the supportive comments under my blog entries and support in general! It's definitely been helping me along this journey and I couldn't ask for better people in my life :)

Stay cool today! It's a hot one! Sheesh!!

Love ME! XOXO

Have You Ever Been on T.V.??

Accompanied by the better singer of the song - Sam Cooke - Bring It On Home To Me. 

SO...in 2009 I auditioned for the T.V. show Look-A-Like  during their 6th season. I have been told SO MANY times that I resemble Jodie Foster since I was in Grade 9 (where someone actually ran up to me thinking I was her in an excited state...she was from my high school!!) so I went on the show saying that I look like her. It was certainly a nerve wrecking experience as the three main people on the show were also the judges! As you stepped into the room, the familiar Look-A-Like backdrop was set up and I was directed to the little white markers on the floor.The audition is taped (obviously) and everyone in the room (which was probably close to 10) is quiet and staring at you. The judges start to ask you questions about yourself and who you think you resemble. I had put on my audition sheet that I loved music, so they made me sing a damn song!!!!! I froze in my spot and panicked! I am NOT a singer so this was really humiliating!!!! I answered hesitantly and said in a meek voice..."yes". Gah!! Now I can't turn back. I'm not really good at remembering words to songs so I sang the one song I knew most of the words of - "Bring It On Home To Me" by Sam Cooke. I sing it in my car almost daily and out loud to myself because I love it. You will see what ensued when you click on the link below :) I am in the first clip. After that they made me repeat the way I said Jodie Foster as I was a bit hyper during this audition and may have done a Mary Catherine Gallagher impression while saying Jodie's name.

CLICK ON THIS LINK:

Look-A-Like Debut! Audition

I have had this clip for over a year but was too embarrassed to post it! I didn't even know the audition was put on T.V. until a sub-contractor I know told me a year ago that he saw me! Then someone in my building asked if I was on it this year, and then today a friend of mine saw it...SO here it is. I'm biting the bullet and deciding to show all of you haha. Enjoy! 

Have You Ever Done The Hokey Pokey of Life?

Accompanied by "The Hokey Pokey".

Everyone knows these famed lyrics (insert lyrics here as I'm not putting them in my blog! haha http://bussongs.com/songs/hokey_pokey.php). We sang them as children most likely in a big circle in kindergarten (or perhaps in a bar as well as adults?), but have you ever really thought about what they mean? Well after a week of ups and downs I started to think about the lyrics and coined my week the Hokey Pokey of Life  week. Most of my life I've waited for the ball to drop any time something good came along, as it generally did. Whether it was boyfriends, plans, jobs, potential exciting happenings of life, things just seemed to end suddenly and it was hard to take. For the last month I've been feeling really great about where my life has been heading. I found love in writing, been to some great events and just generally have been feeling happier and more confident these days! I have felt like I'm moving forward rather than laying stagnant in one position and I feel a zest for life again. However with that said, this past week has been rather difficult, as many obstacles were thrown at me.

First Obstacle: My dog was put down which was really hard to deal with. I did not think I would feel like I did but being in the room with him was the toughest thing I've had to do in a long time.

Second Obstacle: A bit of rejection. Well being rejected four times in a row more specifically. I'm cool.
My mind's interpretation - I'M GOING TO BE ALONE FOREVER!!!

Third Obstacle: My Much Music interview fell through due to scheduling conflicts. Boo.
My mind's interpretation - I feel like I've failed the magazine.

Now I know these obstacles are not big in some people's eyes (except for my dog), but when they are bunched together, the whole combined experience just deflates you. I wonder "why can't life just keep moving forward, instead of forwards, backwards, forwards, backwards?? BAH!" Since childhood I've gone through some pretty volatile times with my family, and was sexually assaulted and sexually harassed in my late teens/early twenties. The last years or so have also been pretty stressful. I have never felt that feeling of stability because something was ALWAYS occurring that set me back a hundred steps. I felt like giving up A LOT! but kept on going with plenty of support behind me which I'm truly grateful for. I seemed to always pick the harder road and I'm learning to change that. It was hard seeing certain people sail through life with ease, achieving all their goals, and getting everything they wanted. I couldn't help but think "why does all this shit have to happen to me??" To put things in perspective (when I started to go down that path of thinking), I thought about all the people that had it much worse than I did and from there I just kept trying to improve my life.When things started going well this month and then these obstacles were presented to me, I thought to myself..."I'm doing the damn Hokey Pokey!!!" When I put one foot in (forward), I end up having to put one foot out (backwards) - or more like my foot was being forced out! I became frustrated and rather down on myself. I started to think "maybe this writing thing isn't for me. I can't make it in life doing this. I don't know what to say!" I was falling back into a destructive thought pattern that I wanted to escape from. Fear was setting in. My mom gave me some advice and said to me that I need to stop taking things so personally. So I thought about it and YES. That is correct. I am not giving up on this dream and will face many obstacles along the way that I have to just let roll off my back. Sometimes it's just difficult to not take things personally.
    When I was reading other interpretations of the song I saw one that suggested it being a song about committing yourself to life. I thought this interpretation also reflected my own life! As my life has gone on, I've had a hard time committing to one idea for many aspects of my life. Whether it was taking a risk in something I love, making plans, finding a new job, or dating, I put one toe in and kept one toe out, afraid to put my whole foot or self in, in fear that I will fail or I will be rejected (or that I will make the wrong decision that will keep me stuck in a situation I don't want to be in - which I've mentioned before). In doing that I haven't allowed myself to really see what COULD happen. When I went to Arizona I was told to make an intention of what I wanted to happen in my life for the next year and stick with it (as I've always scattered myself in many different directions). Scattering yourself all over the place doesn't really allow you to master anything and leaves you up in the air most of the time. SO that's why the writing came in and that's the mindset I came into Ontario with on April 12th, 2011. I decided from that day on to really keep my mind set on my intention, and I can really say that since doing that things have started to unfold. I've met people in the industries I'm interested in, have started my blog, have joined the internship, have been to many cool events, have met lots of cool people and have been able to socialize with people of like minds! Through enduring the trials and tribulations of my life I have learned to fight and to survive and to get through hard obstacles. This new journey isn't going to be without it's own roadblocks and I just need to keep that in mind and roll with it once they come. I suppose last week was just an off week and that's OK to have as well :) So from this day forward I'm going to continue toooooo:


Put my whole self in,
Put my whole self out;
Put my whole self in,
And shake it all about.
I'm sure I'll be doing the Hokey-Pokey,
and turning myself around.
but that's what life is all about :)

Sorry for the delay in writing!!!! I hope this one didn't make anyone too depressed! Have an amazing long weekend everyone!!!! I'm loving this weather! If anyone is going to Ottawa and sees Will and Kate...blow a kiss to Will from me!!! :)

Love you all! xoxo